Love is mindless.
For a brief, shimmering moment you can actually think that something good will come of it. But then your mind falls out of your butt and pretty soon your heart will follow.
It is pointless and stupid and the most lethal emotion.
Love is anger and lust and jealousy and passion and forgetfulness and, the most evil of all, hope.
Love is a full syringe of evil straight to the heart.
Love is fine while it lasts but when it ends (and it will end) all that is left is regret.
Love isn't eternal, so if it sticks its foot out and you trip over it, make sure you fall hard.
Make sure that you scrape your knees and rub your hands raw.
Gotta make the most of every experience, right?
Because it is the greatest mistake.
So if you are smart, you will learn from that mistake.
Learn to not take a shot of evil straight to the bloodstream.
That evil thing can bring the strongest person to their knees, make them sob; with longing, with envy, with skepticism.
It can bury you in agony, make you scream with it, crush you with it.
Some feel like they can pull down the moon when they are in love.
Some feel as though they could move a mountain.
Others drown in their love. Drowning can be good or it can be bad.
It can move you to rescue yourself.
Or you can let it suck you down.
Its a choice that is difficult to make.
Personally, I would rather save myself than go down with the ship(heart).
I don't want to feel anymore.
I don't want to let myself hope and have them crash down on my head.
I want to be numb.
I want to not have to deal with this every single day.
I don't want to walk down the sidewalk and see hands held together with love and almost burst into tears, longing for something I can't find.
I don't want to be told that I am wrong, that I am only 19 and have the rest of my life ahead of me.
I know that I can't find it like I know that gravity is real.
I want to be mindless by choice, not by a feeling that could slip through my hands like water.
This is one of the most poetic, greatly written things that I have read in awhile, but it's so depressing. Love isn't perfect, and it's not just going to pop up. Love comes in so many different forms, that if you look close enough Megan, you can fall in love every single day. You just have to look at different aspects of life, and learn that love isn't always about silly boys or great men. It's about you and your connection with something wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThat is the kicker: I am not connected to anything. At all. Love is not perfect, on that I can agree. And of course love just 'pops up.' It stuck my mom at the gas station in Walkerton. It stuck my best friend through a text message. The sad thing is, no matter how hard I fight against it, I do fall in love every day. Just one glance and I am gone. Sad isn't it?
ReplyDelete(You really think this was good? I was in a way depressing mood.)