Callie Daniels settled down into a chair at one of the few remaining tables in the crowded café. She set her steaming coffee cup down on the marble tabletop and dropped her bag into the empty seat next to her. Shrugging out of her red pea coat, she pushed her brown hair out of her eyes and pulled a notebook from her bag. The notebook was nondescript: a blue leather journal about the size of a wallet. She glanced around at all of the people around her, chatting over lattes, loudly gossiping about the newest celebrity scandal, scurrying in from the snow falling delicately to the earth.
Her gaze landed on a man in the corner of the café. The man was older but she could still see the remnants of a handsome face in the laugh lines around his mouth and the way his eyes shone as he quietly read his paper, pausing every so often to drink from a dark green coffee mug. Callie could tell right away that this man was intriguing, like if James Bond was a grandpa.
Get imagery. I got the whole picture like a reel going inside of my head. (: Keep going keep posting.
ReplyDeleteI like it :) The detail is nice, i can see it pretty clearly in my mind. i also like the word choices here. very nice variety, no real repitition at all which is good. I know it's only two paragraphs and the pace of the story is pretty good. but...i'm just worried that like...your going to lose that pace and that balence. it's good right now but like..as you go on, don't let the detail run the story. your a great writer megz. i can't wait to see more :)
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