You and Me Got Lost Somewhere....

he used to be my best guy friend.
i could talk to him about anything and everything and he would always be honest.
we would talk basically everyday.
now, its all different.
he's with her and i think that because of her, he is different.
and because of Promises, promises.
he used to love me.
or at least thats what he said.
i think that maybe he was just in love with the idea of love.
he wrote me a 101 Reasons Why I Am Amazing list.
he wanted to be with me when i wasnt sure of where my life was heading.
i was denying everything back then.
now, its all different.
i saw them together the other day as i pulled into dollar general.
i ducked down and pretended to be digging in my purse.
facing them together like that would have been torture.
i was greatly relieved that he didnt see me, and also a little shattered too.
how could such a great friendship come to that?
i know why i felt that way now.
i asked my sissy why i couldnt look at his name without feeling sad.
she told me, quite simply, "because you love him."
well, of course i do.
he was my best friend.
now, i dont want to even text him for fear that he is with her.
i envy her and wish it was me holding his hand.
but that cant be. ever.
wanna know how i know this?
because i asked him point blank.
no matter what i do, it wont change things. ever.
we got lost somewhere and cant find our way back....
if you can find your way to me, i will be waiting.